Thursday, May 30, 2013

Tough Changes

I'm hard on myself. Annoyingly hard on myself--annoying to both me and my husband. 

Usually because: I ate too much, didn't work out not enough, didn't lose enough lbs this week, didn't log my food,didn't  measure the food i ate, didn't get my water in...etc.  I'm mean and nag myself about it. 

I've got to quit it. 

This came up because I'm struggling with the muscle mania workouts. I didn't do any of it last night (had two scheduled so that I could make up for missing last weekend), and I'm worried because I've done so good so far and here I am at the end of the month screwing up. 

This is just life though. It's not going to be perfect. 

I'm going to have to chill. Sometimes life gets in the way and a straight month of workouts just doesn't happen for the entire 30 days. I've done really well, and I should be proud instead of beating myself up over sucking it up this past week. The last week of muscle Mania will be whatever it ends up being. 


I've got to learn to be nicer to myself. I've lost 30 ish pounds. I think I can spare myself the  lectures and guilt. I just have to make myself quit it I guess. Maybe I need to visit the self help section at Barnes and Noble. Or maybe just on my nook-- to spare myself any embarrassment haha. 

I am a ball of anxiety this week. With the past holiday weekend, this whole week hasn't felt right. I'm exhausted because the new evening/morning schedule I'm trying to adapt to right now is getting the best of me. 

I am physically worn the hell out, making workout motivation difficult. 
I'm sucking at logging calories because I'm cooking for two people at night now. 

My work is going to kill me next month because of being so busy--I may have overbooked myself. 

These are all normal things though. Busy work, cooking for two, schedule changes. 

What I'm figuring out from this is that my routine needs to change. Obviously what I've done for the past year won't be applicable to the rest of my life. 

Counting calories for everything that goes into your mouth is an EXCELLENT way to start out. It's really eye opening. But it isn't how I see myself spending the rest of my life. I also know that working out every day for 30 days isn't practical for me, and will only lead to me dreading it or skipping it and feeling awful about it. 

So some tough changes are about to happen around here. Here are the main ideas---

1) I'm going to learn to be nicer to myself. This will take some time. 

2) I'm going to try and just eat well, eat mainly REAL FOOD, instead of counting calories. 

3) I'm not going to weigh myself daily. Instead I'll do it once or twice a month just to monitor what's happening in general. 

Eating real food and not weighing/counting calories daily seems more like a lifestyle I can handle. I've counted calories and weighed almost daily for a year now, and it's time to look at the bigger picture now that I've dropped some poundage. 

I will have cheat days. I'll still eat crap food sometimes. I'll still drink dark beer and skip workouts and only get half my water in. Sometimes. And I need to be okay with that. 

You do too if you're mean to yourself like I am. 

More on this later. I've got to think about it some more. 

Today is my Friday. Thank The Lord. 

1 comment:

Lauryn Roth said...

i know what you mean. I have been feeling the same way lately. I need a kick start to get me in gear bad, I am going to have to make some changes.